Ten days ago, I was on Facebook after advocating on PetPardons. I hadn't heard from Tom in days because I was trying to let him come to me so I decided to check his Facebook only to find that a friend of his had posted: "With Tom Holden, his girlfriend Amanda Woodring, and her kids in Farmington seeing Santa." I was gut-punched.
Not only had I thought that Tom and I were on the road to recovery, but I find out that the reason we've barely been spending time together was because he had a girlfriend with KIDS when he said that his life was too complicated to date me. What's more complicated than kids? What hurt even worse was that Tom had never even taken me out in the daylight, had never introduced me as his girlfriend, and wouldn't change his Facebook status until I slept with him because it wasn't a REAL relationship until then.
I sent him a message on Facebook calling him out for being an asshole and lying to me. I also sent her one, not for the reason one might expect, but because Tom had told me of his history cheating on EVERY girlfriend he'd had, and he had cheated on me with a stripper; him dating a girl seriously enough to meet her kids and only a couple weeks before, he and I were making out. I didn't want her kids to be hurt by the situation. For hours, I bawled to my mother and to friends online. I didn't even feel I could tell Kat because she had been so against him that I only expected judgment.
I decided to ask Russsell if he'd known when I was obviously flirting with Tom and why he didn't tell me. I still think about this now. Then I noticed Russell shared the same last name as Amanda; she was his wife. Tom gave Russell rides because he didn't have a car, why wouldn't he take his wife and kids to see Santa? I was mortified and immediately sent out apologies, believing that Tom's friend had been mistaken.
Tom called me two days later to yell at me for sending Amanda a message even though I was just trying to keep him from hurting her and had apologized when i made the connections. He told me that she was going through a divorce and that he was just doing a favor to his friend Russell. I started to cry, pointinh out that I HAD apologized. He hung up, and I called back telling him that I had needed to calm down. We talked more, then he got flustered and hung up, promising to call back. He actually did, and we talked more. I thought we had mended bridges, but I still felt so awful for doubting him and worried that I'd burnt bridges by trying to keep Amanda and her kids from being hurt especially after Seth told me it was how a psycho-girlfriend would respond.
This morning at 12:22 am, Tom called me to tell me that the message was right, he was "sort of dating" Amanda, and he had been for a month-and-a-half while we were still making out. She was Russell's ex-wife, and Russell knew. He had "never felt a connection" with me "no matter how hard he'd tried." He did feel one with Amanda, though, because she wasn't "clingy" and knew when to "leave him alone." He lied to me so much, let me think I had doubted him only for him to smash my heart into pieces. It's been hours, but I still can't stop shaking. I feel so empty and broken.
Not only had I thought that Tom and I were on the road to recovery, but I find out that the reason we've barely been spending time together was because he had a girlfriend with KIDS when he said that his life was too complicated to date me. What's more complicated than kids? What hurt even worse was that Tom had never even taken me out in the daylight, had never introduced me as his girlfriend, and wouldn't change his Facebook status until I slept with him because it wasn't a REAL relationship until then.
I sent him a message on Facebook calling him out for being an asshole and lying to me. I also sent her one, not for the reason one might expect, but because Tom had told me of his history cheating on EVERY girlfriend he'd had, and he had cheated on me with a stripper; him dating a girl seriously enough to meet her kids and only a couple weeks before, he and I were making out. I didn't want her kids to be hurt by the situation. For hours, I bawled to my mother and to friends online. I didn't even feel I could tell Kat because she had been so against him that I only expected judgment.
I decided to ask Russsell if he'd known when I was obviously flirting with Tom and why he didn't tell me. I still think about this now. Then I noticed Russell shared the same last name as Amanda; she was his wife. Tom gave Russell rides because he didn't have a car, why wouldn't he take his wife and kids to see Santa? I was mortified and immediately sent out apologies, believing that Tom's friend had been mistaken.
Tom called me two days later to yell at me for sending Amanda a message even though I was just trying to keep him from hurting her and had apologized when i made the connections. He told me that she was going through a divorce and that he was just doing a favor to his friend Russell. I started to cry, pointinh out that I HAD apologized. He hung up, and I called back telling him that I had needed to calm down. We talked more, then he got flustered and hung up, promising to call back. He actually did, and we talked more. I thought we had mended bridges, but I still felt so awful for doubting him and worried that I'd burnt bridges by trying to keep Amanda and her kids from being hurt especially after Seth told me it was how a psycho-girlfriend would respond.
This morning at 12:22 am, Tom called me to tell me that the message was right, he was "sort of dating" Amanda, and he had been for a month-and-a-half while we were still making out. She was Russell's ex-wife, and Russell knew. He had "never felt a connection" with me "no matter how hard he'd tried." He did feel one with Amanda, though, because she wasn't "clingy" and knew when to "leave him alone." He lied to me so much, let me think I had doubted him only for him to smash my heart into pieces. It's been hours, but I still can't stop shaking. I feel so empty and broken.
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